No matter how much we love or care for someone, we cannot take on their journeys. Although, I admit that for years, I relentlessly tried. In retrospection, I realized helping others tackle their life circumstances unconsciously enabled me to avoid focusing on myself. The unwavering support I gave was always at my own expense, even though I didn’t see it that way.
You and Me can coexist as the priority
Years later, I owned that when you expend all of your energy on others, you have nothing or very little left over for yourself. But despite procrastination, your own issues and life situations will remain unaddressed deep inside. And, on some level, you created that barrier as an insulation from your pain. Dismantling that barrier turns out to be one of the most crucial aspects of your life.
Teaching others how to navigate their own pathways doesn’t have to interrupt our knowledge acquisition and experiential integration, unless we allow it. Yet, our internal waters can be muddied or stilled when consistent focus on outcomes for others dominates our energy rather than our own. Although tempting, we cannot take on others’ journeys. Only they have the GPS to navigate their ways.
Thus, throughout our lives, we sail through the waters on a learning excursion. As we embark on our own distinctive voyage through the ebbs and flows of life, we learn and grow. The clearer our perspective is on what we need to acknowledge and to understand about our inner landscape, the easier it is for us to bring a deeper awareness to our growth trajectory.
Give others the gift of discovering their own path
Because of the tendency to take on others’ problems, helpers and healers focus on others, which obstructs their own learning journey. The propensity to assist others may override the need to tackle our own expeditions.
Moreover, trying to help others is a natural inclination for anyone in the helping field. Not to mention, the societal expectations to sacrifice yourself for others if you are in a helping or healing profession reinforces our drive to be of service to our communities. Although we cannot take on others’ journeys, we can empower others. And should…especially if we are a helper or healer.
Yet, the price we pay for giving away the last bit of ourselves includes our physical health, mental wellness, and energetic reserves. Therefore, the need to create and adhere to energetic boundaries we erect becomes paramount to preserving our wellbeing. Read more about boundaries here: https://tracinicolesmith.com/know-no-bounds-while-knowing-your-boundaries/
Incarnating into your life with a purpose
Most teachers, doctors, nurses, and other professionals who caretake others were drawn to helping others at a young age. Throughout my years in education, an overwhelming number of teachers told me that they played “teacher” with chalkboards and stuffed animals just as my sister and I did. Although cliché, truth lies in the old adage that it is calling to be in service to others.
Interestingly, the calling should also include being in service to yourself. Society has misused the term “self-centered” to denote selfishness. On the contrary, a self-centered lens can jointly taper your perspective on you and the ones you serve. Furthermore, if you do not cue your focus on your life, how will you manifest your desires? No one can manifest for you.
In the end of the day, our life journey and the joy we experience turns out to be in our control. Let’s not forget the story of the Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein. The tree gave everything away and had nothing for itself. Giving is one of the most delightful experiences in life. Why deny giving to yourself? Allowing yourself to receive joy and gifts of appreciation from you will enhance your positive experiences and integrate flow into your life. When you don’t receive from yourself or others, part of the cycle of give and take disengages. Receiving facilitates the cycle to run rhythmically and naturally. Thus, it becomes a source of pain when we over-give without allowing.
Awareness is the key to unlock your liberation from pain
If you are not aware that you are in emotional, spiritual, or psychological pain, you cannot address it. Be mindful that a huge indicator that you have something inside that needs to be unearthed are your reactions to events in your life. Read more about triggers here: https://tracinicolesmith.com/stepped-on-emotional-landmines/
Once you have identified your triggers, you can begin to address your inner child and inner teen wounds. Read more about this process here: https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/inner-child-healing#acknowledge. All forms of traditional therapy and energy healing monumentality facilitated my healing journey. Identifying the buried pain and healing it by feeling it. Moreover, bestowing forgiveness liberates you from allowing the past to control you.
No time like the present to create a new pathway that honors you.