As you age, life evolves into seamless routines, appointments, and deadlines.  The automaticity of daily living may create seemingly smooth sailing waterways during certain time periods. Yet, even when you construct a manageable life, unforeseen events, both small and large, may trigger hidden pain.  In truth, these stimuli feel as if you have stepped on emotional landmines.  Thus, the illusion of peace implodes within as massive discomfort catapults to the surface.

 

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What remains within

 

Most individuals live with immense pain buried deeply inside of their bodies.  Unbeknownst to them, heartache experienced long ago resides in inner corridors buried in the past.  For this reason, years of unconscious living cycles progresses into denial and repression. Read more about how to determine if you are repressing memories here: https://www.bustle.com/p/11-signs-you-might-be-repressing-negative-childhood-memories-51958

 

 

Yet, it only takes one unpredictable moment to launch a pathway into darkness via the opening of Pandora’s box.  Even then, drowning out feelings by concealing pain in lieu of feeling it becomes a default mechanism.  Staying pathologically busy allows millions to cloud their issues rather than face them.  Read more about pathological busyness here: https://tracinicolesmith.com/the-unbusying-of-pathological-busyness/

 

In order to live a conscious life, addressing and healing the pain you have encountered throughout your life unlocks the door to freedom. Through this new doorway, living with clarity and peace in the present moment arises the ultimate goal.

 

Alas, if remnants of past events lie within, you become hostage to those memories and their energetic imprints.  Hence, the triggers elicit an explosion of emotions, feelings, and thoughts that congealed over time.

 

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What is a trigger?

 

In essence, a trigger is an event that emotionally and/or physically transports you back in time to the pain you experienced at the initial time of the trauma.  By nature, everyone has a unique childhood and different reaction to circumstances in their lives. Thus, triggers are personal and diverse in nature and can be large or small.  Therefore, preventing yourself from stepping on emotional landmines while interacting with the outside world may be impossible.  At any time, one step in any direction may be the one that triggers an enormous explosion.

 

Examples of triggers:

 

  • Loss/Death
  • Graphic images
  • Smells, Tastes, Noises
  • Colors
  • Songs
  • Violent acts
  • Endings, such as breakups
  • Financial woes
  • Friction from friends or family
  • Isolation
  • Judgment or criticism
  • Bullying or teasing
  • Being overwhelmed
  • Discomfort due to another’s energetic vibration
  • Physical issues

 

 

With this in mind, understanding that triggers manifest from either internal or external events reveals the all-encompassing nature of them.  Moreover, memories and repressed feelings locked inside hover deeply within your subconscious self.  As a result, preparing for when they surface becomes paramount.

 

Purposeful Discomfort

 

 

The monumental task of intentionally delving into your pain arises with urgency as you age.  When I recall my spiritual awakening in my early 20s and the trauma that surfaced, I wonder how I survived.  Feeling pain on purpose via therapy and counseling to deliberately implode the landmines within me is one of the toughest but most courageous feats of my life.

 

Why would anyone “poke the sleeping bear” on purpose?  Simple answer:  There was no other choice. I was tired of being angry, confused, and triggered by others’ words and actions.  In my heart, I knew that I was holding onto my pain with everything I had inside of me and releasing it would be terrifying.  It reminds me of Brooks in Shawshank Redemption.  Being angry/sad/confused/scared/reactive was all I knew just like being incarcerated was all he knew.

 

To read more about my journey of awakening, read my first blog post from June 2020: https://tracinicolesmith.com/the-spiritual-awakening-emergence-post-covid-life/

 

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The Urgency to Heed the Call

If you are feeling the way I was feeling, understand one simple truth: Trying to keep your pain locked inside is toxic.  Moreover, numbing your pain through unhealthy habits will not prevent it from spilling out in one way or another.  When you know that you have “issues” and that you have not dealt with them, being proactive and seeking professional help liberates you from wondering how extensive the damage will be after you’ve stepped on emotional landmines.

 

Luckily for me, when my box opened and the darkness flooded out, I immediately sought help to learn how to feel my pain in order to heal it.  It is in my nature to face things head on rather than pretend they didn’t happen. Trying to deny or rebury what you must face delays you from living a joyful, centered, and conscious life.  It is also impossible.  For once you see, you cannot unsee.

 

When you take the step forward in your life before you have stepped on emotional landmines, you will feel lighter.

 

Time to seek out the light.  The only way out of the dark is through it.

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