2020 was quite a year.  And, it started out in the same manner in which every new year starts…full of the possibilities of magic, mystery, and magnificence.  Each year, as the calendar resets to January 1, hopeful souls around the world launch their unmanifested dreams and desires into the ethers.  All the while, they eagerly anticipate which form their intentions will take.

 

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The descent of a semi-permanent dusk

 

And yet, as the year materialized, a darkness clouded our expectations. In disbelief, we watched a lethal virus veil the planet in a cloak of death and destruction. While the Grim Reaper indiscreetly visited people all over the globe, an undeniable panic infiltrated from shore to shore. This disruptive energy created an impact that is still quite unknown.

 

It all started in the first quarter of 2020. Without warning, life as we knew it paused then disappeared much like an act stolen straight from the pages of a David Copperfield performance manual.

 

Honestly, it was actually more like a scene from The Twilight Zone in the way that the life we enjoyed (most of the time) and relied upon mysteriously morphed into a horror show.  Read a study about the psychological effects of COVID-19 thus far here:  https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMp2008017

 

But this magic did not appear as perception trick or sleight of the hand movement that could be explained. Rather, it was a peculiar reversal of fortune.  This mystifying wave of destruction dissipated the lives we lived that we manifested through our intentions, whether conscious or unconscious.  With its peaks and valleys, our pre-pandemic lives embodied some form of safety and predictability.

 

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Inertia of external magic, mystery, and magnificence

 

Thus, many of us slowly found our way as the year progressed and created our own magic. The barriers to living largely and effortlessly initiated the need to find new pathways as we let go of old ones.  Read more about how to step out of the insanity cycle here:  https://tracinicolesmith.com/release-in-peace-by-letting-go/.

 

So, what does the word “magic” actually mean?

 

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, magic is an extraordinary power or influence that seems to be originating from a supernatural force.

 

The influence of super natural

 

After reading this definition, I contemplated about 2020 and concluded that it does feel as if magic played a huge role.  In reality, the coronavirus influenced and powerfully transformed everything.  All throughout the year, the world stopped and started.  And as we felt jarred, the hands of time continued to rotate forward on our clocks.

 

As I calibrated my contradictory feelings with others about how the rhythm of the days felt, they concurred.  The notion of time evaporating into thin air while dragging its cinderblock feet rang true with everyone. It was the fastest, slowest year.  And, perspective-depending, it could have been the best of times or the worst of times. Perhaps, your year brought forth some form of magic, mystery, and magnificence despite the pandemic.

 

 

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Dark Magic

 

Upon reflection about how well I handled 2020, I recognized the importance of the training ground which prepared me. One of the best parts of being in public education for over two decades was learning to embody my ability to create my own joy and contentment. I learned how to do this over time while being inundated daily with blasts of lack consciousness, victim energy, and encircling fear.

 

Yet, this process of learning to turn my light on within while transmuting all of the toxic energy took a long time to perfect and had its fair share of twists and turns. As a result, trial and error became a crucial part of the framework I constructed. As I experimented with different practices and energetic tools, I transformed my energy within.

 

It wasn’t easy. And, I wasn’t completely unscathed.  Nonetheless, I created my own magic while deflecting most of the chaos.

 

Massive uneasiness preceded peace

 

Despite being awakened in my early 20s, I endured a lot of discomfort throughout the years, especially at work. In the schools, the entire foundation of the educational system is rooted in oppression and power-based inequities. And, after connecting with others at national conferences, I realized lack energy in school existed everywhere.

 

Still, I had a choice to make while I was a public school teacher:  Create my own magic within me or succumb to the narrowing darkness that descended upon me each time I returned to the building.  Seemingly for me, no choice actually existed as the uneasiness of living with a lot of unresolved feelings and triggers ushered me to ignite my light.

 

Now, I realize how crucial it was for me to be in this environment.  In retrospect, I needed this mirror being held in front of me to reflect the deeply buried pain. For so long, I clung onto the illusion that it was concealed.

 

 

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Deeply buried discomfort surfaces

 

At some point, the pain I carried around that I thought was nicely tucked away in a hidden nook burst forward and became so obvious that I basically had a sign on my forehead that stated in bold type, “I am in desperate need of healing.”

 

So, I heeded the blaring call from within and found my first therapist. Alas, the 20-something Traci peeled back the thick layers of anger and finally acknowledged the pain that it enveloped.

 

After 26 years of healing, learning, growing, processing, and integrating, I welcome this journey.  Honestly, I recognized that if I am seeking out magic in my life, I need to create my own magical “spells.” Alas, authentic creation happened only after I addressed my inner pain and healed my wounds. Then, I cultivated my awakened lens through the newly integrated self I constructed.

 

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Be a designer of your own magic, mystery, and magnificence

 

In closing, the influence of the pandemic is not going to magically disappear because it is 2021.  Therefore, I validate the need for so many to hold onto that thought that it will.  However, I also remind you that creating true joy and contentment lies within.  And, that is the only true control we have.

 

The playground and preparatory school of the external world provides opportunities for you to learn more about yourself.  But if you want to profoundly shift your reality in 2021, commit to creating your own magic, mystery, and magnificence.

 

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