No matter how much we love or care for someone, we cannot take on their journey. In fact, we are here focus on our soul development through the human perspective. Hence, throughout our lives, we sail through the waters on a learning excursion to discover who we really are. And, as we embark on our distinctive voyage through the ebbs and flows of life, we make choices that affect our route. Alas, the waters we navigate can be muddied when you are a helper or healer. Because of our natural proclivity to take on others’ problems, helpers and healers focus their lenses on others rather than on themselves. As a result, losing sight of your own way obstructs your ability to learn your life lessons.
Others before yourself
Trying to help others is an instinctive inclination for anyone in the helping field. Moreover, the societal expectations to sacrifice yourself for others reinforces our drive to be in perpetual overdrive. When we commit to being of service to the communities we serve, we feel fulfilled. Yet, the price we pay for giving away the last bit of ourselves to others includes our physical health, mental wellness, and energetic reserves. Therefore, the need to create and adhere to energetic boundaries becomes paramount to preserving our wellbeing.
Most teachers, therapists, doctors, nurses, and other professionals were drawn to helping others at a young age. Throughout my years in education, the vast majority of teachers told me that they played “teacher” in their younger years with chalkboards and stuffed animals just as my sister and I did. The trajectory of our career emerged in our childhoods and become solidified in college.
Reality bites us
Hence, nothing could have prepared us for the complicated and challenging situations we faced as we submerged ourselves in the deep trenches of our helping and healing professions. Our actual jobs aside, the emotional toll that processing the hardships others face deeply impacts our state-of-being. It becomes very difficult to witness others in pain without being affected by it. To understand this complication dynamic, read more about vicarious trauma here: https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/vicarious-trauma.
Especially as a helper or healer, separating others’ emotions from our own becomes a daunting task. At times, deciphering our feelings from others’ feelings may be extremely complicated. These situations ring true when facing the hardships of life as harsh conditions continue to unravel.
In college, no one taught us about the importance of boundaries and self-protection. Thus, the school of hard knocks immersed in our professional landscapes jolted us into a jarring reality. Not having the energetic tools and healing practices we require to pilot our own way without taking on others’ pain dramatically impairs our own pathway. As a result of losing sight of your own way, your ability to fully embrace your own journey diminishes. And, it some cases, our purpose enmeshes into others’ purposes. As a result, your life purpose that fills you with passion disappears.
Fill your tool box
Adopting present moment awareness helps to refocus our energy on ourselves. By implementing mindfulness through meditation practices, we re-center our focus back on ourselves. If you are losing sight of your own way, the most immediate remedy to ground you back into your own body is breathing. As we breathe, we connect to our surroundings and have the ability to sense our own bodies. Through this awakening of our senses, we can begin to decipher what is our energy versus what is others’ energy.
To bolster this experience, implementing energetic tools as we breathe re-focuses our lens back to us. Through energy healing facilitated through energetic tools and practices, we can balance and restore our energetic channels.
What are energy tools?
- Crystals or stones
- Orgone Generators (EMF)
- Sage or Palo Alto Sticks
- Singing bowls
- Solfeggio frequencies
- Tuning forks
- Bath salts
- Nature (rocks, trees, flowers, etc.)
These tools are accessible to you without having to rely on another service providers to assist you. Because of the increase in spiritual awakenings and access to online information, acquiring knowledge about these processes may be easier. If you are questioning whether or not you are having a spiritual awakening, read more here: https://tracinicolesmith.com/what-is-a-spiritual-awakening/. Additionally, here are some questions to ask yourself:
(Excerpt taken from: https://tracinicolesmith.com/the-shift-in-responsibilities-manifested-spiritual-awakenings/ )
Questions asked within:
- Who I am outside of my work? marriage? children?
- What is my life purpose?
- What can give my life more meaning?
- What am I passionate about?
- What is my soul’s path?
- How can I manifest a better life?
- How can I create more balance in my life?
- Is this the job/career for me?
- How can I get paid doing what I love?
- Can I return to a job I don’t love and a life that is unmanageable?
- Am I having a spiritual awakening?
When you become more comfortable focusing on the map of your life, you also become more uncomfortable with the path you once followed. Over time, I have shifted gears, speeds, and routes all depending on how I felt at the time. Sometimes, I glided over the waters effortlessly and gracefully despite the waves. Yet at other times, I barely could muster any energy to move forward. The best news that you can only feel that we are losing sight of your own way for so long. Then, despite all efforts, you will be forced to address the trajectory of your life.
Rather than allow ourselves to get to the point of being miserable inside by suppressing our feelings, we must courageously and urgently look at our own pathway. When you shift the focus on you, you will not only discover your inherent power, but you also empower others to find their own way. Read more about allowing others to discover their own way here: https://tracinicolesmith.com/honoring-the-journey-of-others/.
Saying yes to your spiritual journey requires you to put yourself at the center of your life and unapologetically erect and maintain your boundaries. If you are struggling with this process, deepening your self-love practices through healing will liberate you from the guilt you may experience. Only when you are of service to yourself can you truly be of service to others. If you are losing sight of your own way, get out of your own way by evolving your behaviors that aren’t beneficial in the long run.