In the month of January, cars of all shapes and sizes wedge into yellow-lined parking spaces as hopeful new gym members flood inside to exercise.  Losing weight and getting in shape are two of the most commonly shared resolutions across the globe.  Something about the reset of a year to day one ignites a hope for change with the promise of dreams coming true.  Yet, intentions cannot prosper with an unresolved past.



Mindful of the past


For most people, the changes won’t last because the reason for covering the pain through an unproductive habit still resides within your being.  Hence, digging deep to locate the wound that morphed into an unhealthy habit facilitates the start of permanent change. And, more importantly, healing.  Without the recognition of what caused the pain and your need to cover it or bury it, you will never truly be healed.  Thus, even the best made intentions will falter or fail for those who have not begun their healing journey.


Luckily, will power and determination embedded within my psyche at a young age.  Throughout my entire life, achieving small or large goals came easily for me.  Even though I had pain locked inside of me that need to be addressed, my goal attainment never waned.  Rather than trying to climb down that rabbit hole of why, I just accepted this actuality as a gift I brought into this life.


But understanding that others aren’t wired like me took some time to understand.  When I was younger, I couldn’t fathom why my friends started clean eating and never followed through or started a program and then quit.  Later on, when my healing commenced, I realized that motivation to make changes wasn’t black or white.  Moreover, I learned that intentions cannot prosper with an unresolved past.  Even for me.



Mindful of being missed


Fitness and education goal attainment may have been easily obtained in my life.  However, being truly seen and recognized for my other gifts remained elusive for a long time.  And, living unseen creates a painful reality.  In reaction to being somewhat invisible, I became an activist who fueled her passion with anger rather than with conviction.  Without knowing, by doing this, I recreated more of what I didn’t want and largely went unnoticed for my presence.  Alas, being loud or aggressive doesn’t make you feel seen the way you want.


In fact, everyone desires to be heard, seen, and embraced for their authentic selves. Although, not everyone sits comfortably with vulnerability and transparency.  If truth be told, I cringe when people say in a defense-mechanism laded tone, “I don’t care what people think.”  Maybe I said that when I was a teenager.  But, as I awakened, that phrase resonated less and less with me and eventually felt completely disingenuous.


Now, in response, I have turned this poorly constructed, overused phrase into “I care what people think because I care about people.  But I do not allow their projections, assumptions, or limiting beliefs to alter what I do. I listen and follow my intuition.”  When you acknowledge that others matter, you acknowledge you and your soul connection to all living things matters.  In plain terms, you validate their importance in the world.  If you abruptly spew “I don’t care what people think” into the collective, you also are reflecting that back to yourself, even if you don’t realize it.  You actually do care what you think and what others do.


Mindful of being me


When I committed to healing, I started realizing that my intention of being viewed for all of the gifts I bring to my family, friendships, and work faltered because I absorbed and projected that energy.  Starting from the time I was born, my parents’ marriage crumbled and my need to fulfill my own needs developed in infancy.  As I aged, my family commented how I had this amazing ability to entertain myself for hours in my play pen with no adult interaction.


What they failed to realize is that as a baby, I intuited the chaos around me and quickly shifted into a person who didn’t need anyone else.  Even though babies desperately need and want attention, I received very little.  The intention cannot prosper with an unresolved past or without the awareness that you need to delve into your unmet needs.  Read more about how I discovered I needed to heal here:


In therapy in my 20s, I learned to give myself the love I didn’t receive and to grieve what I never received as a child.  Over the years as I continued to heal, I integrated my wounds so that they no longer held the emotional charge they once did.  And, I shifted my reality of living “intentions cannot prosper with an unresolved past” to “once you resolve your past, your manifestations have room to take root and to grow.”


As we enter 2022, it is important to be mindful of the pain that holds you back.  New Years resolutions should shift from things you want to change in your life to things you want to heal.  Resolving the past through healing allows you to no longer hoard the energy from your childhood.  Rather, it releases you to create space for your deepest desires to manifest.   Then, you can create with intentionality the life you desire and watch the magic of the unfolding.

Read more about New Year’s Resolutions here:

Happy New Year!