In my teen years, carrying a mirror that fogged my path, I metaphorically peered at myself quite often. Eventually, retrospection and candor lifted the mist that clouded the reflection of someone who didn’t have a care in the world. Yet in high school, unbeknownst to me, the perspective of myself englamoured through the lens of wounds. Slowly dissipating the illusions of my world, the need to be authentic bolded me with a mighty thrust as I stepped into adulthood. What lied ahead proved to be a welcomed challenge as the hope over the horizon propelled each step forward into my life. What awaited me became the focus of my thoughts and created my reality as I moved onward.
Being a stranger in your life
When you awaken and realize that you no longer resonate with your own life, chipping away at the thick-crusted shell you erected becomes easier. Often times, once we graduate college and enter the workforce, our internal landscape changes as our external world naturally shifts. In fact, at times, huge chunks of the past fall off and lie before you. Broken and unable to fit back into the mask you wore as a child, a part of your truest essence shines through for the world as the façade crumbles. As hope over the horizon draws you closer to your genuine nature, you begin to show up in a different way than the “old” you. Vulnerable and unable to step backwards in time, you begin to traverse with caution and wonder.
Part of being a teen consists of the feeling of infallibility mixed with an unhealthy dose of omniscience. Every teen knows better than their parents and doesn’t need any guidance. Ironically, when you enter your 20s, the sliver of truth of your parents’ teachings morphs into a whole slice. Eventually, you may even buy the entire pie. Yet, part of the rite of passage into the adult world involves a dismantling of bravado replaced by an openness to seeking your truth. Read more about how to to ascertain your truest self in this moment here: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/step-into-your-truth-with_b_5564066
Still Feeling Strange
But what if the hope over the horizon feels elusive? During many junctures of my adult life, hope sunk to the bottom and disintegrated before my eyes. Finding a way out seemed futile. It was through these times in my life that I learned the importance of allowing my feelings to flow. I found myself sitting in the discomfort as it whirled though my body. Read more about how I navigated this time in my life here: https://tracinicolesmith.com/finding-comfort-in-discomfort/
Eventually, even the darkest times reveal a sparkle of light. And, if you can find gratitude for that tiny shimmer, more light eventually comes. The hope on the horizon appears closer to you and more tangible. Hence, when you begin to feel better, you can start mapping out ways to navigate your new path.
Not So Strange
Thirty years into my adulthood and 28 years into my awakening, I wonder how I didn’t see the beauty in more aspects of my life. Looking for hope over the horizon, I understand that I am the horizon. The line that separates Earth from the sky isn’t really there.