February 14 can be a triggering day for many people.  The Hallmark-enhanced love fest morphed an innocently low-key holiday into a competitive free-for-all.  In today’s working world, who received the best gifts, had the largest bouquet of flowers delivered, or dined the most fabulous restaurant dominates and alters the spirit of Valentine’s Day.  Although the commercialization manufactured the festivities into materialism, celebrating all forms of love can rejuvenate the essence of your Valentine’s Day.




All Forms Of Love Starts With You.


In the current new age climate, self-love emerges as an overused, redundant phrase. If you scan the internet and search for articles on spirituality, you can’t go long without seeing an editorial about self-love and its importance for overall success and happiness in life.  Even though it is a recurring theme in popular culture, deepening self-love creates the healthiest avenue to attracting life-enhancing love into your life.


Accepting your physical appearance and scholastic aptitude only skim the surface of self-love yet provide a solid foundation for building.  When we say to ourselves, “I love myself despite the fact I do not have a perfect body or a 200 IQ,” we embody gratitude for the gifts we possess both internally and externally.  But when we give others permission to mistreat us in any way, we expose another layer of healing that needs to occur.  The presence of abuse in your life indicates a self-love block within. Tolerating any abuse is not self-love. Learn more about emotional abuse here:  https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/recognize-emotionally-abusive-relationships


In fact, how we allow others to behave towards us indicates the temperature of our self-love thermometer.  The more we endure behaviors that do not convey kindness, compassion, patience, and joy, the more we lessen the honor we hold for ourselves.  Celebrating all forms of love begins with loving you.




The Moment of Clarity


How long you have known someone or whether or not they are family members does not give anyone a license to abuse, lash-out, diminish, condescend, or disrespect you.  Make sure you construct and enforce boundaries in your life.  Read about what boundaries are and their importance here:  https://tracinicolesmith.com/know-no-bounds-while-knowing-your-boundaries/


In the fall of 2020, I finally acknowledged that I was participating in a long-term toxic friendship that was extremely unkind to me.  This epiphany occurred to me one night as I reached for my cellphone to respond to a text from a friend who frequently texted me.


Prior to receiving the text, I immersed myself in an engaging book and set a spa-like ambience in my room. As notes of ylang ylang, orange, and patchouli floated through my senses and soft Solfeggio frequencies danced around me, I opened the text.  The venom that flew out from the screen seemed to spray into my eyes. More victim-laden blame and misery came my way courtesy of this text and doused my slice of Heaven I just created with fire.


The Mirror From Others


Upon reflection, I allowed this behavior and willingly participated in it for years.  Feeling that I was “being a good friend,” I agreed to be the sounding board for someone who needed a place to vent.  But the venting became complaining and an everyday occurrence, which turned toxic for me.  In actuality, she needed therapy but refused to acknowledge her deep wounds and part she played in covering them.


Moreover, as I reflected back on this one particular evening, I owned my part in continuing in this friendship that no longer resonated with me. Rather than lift me up, our friendship continuously covered me in deep layers of negativity as it suffocated my bliss.  She was in pain, and I wanted so desperately to give her support.  Yet, it was at my expense.




I Chose Me


In the exact moment of this awareness, I knew I was done.  In order to celebrate all forms of love in my life, I chose to love me. Once I untangled myself from her venomous hook that leaked out my joy, I removed another barrier to my self-love.  Thus, the healing process once again commenced.


Once entrenched deep into my spirit to heal, I forgave myself for granting someone else access to my energy and authorization to deeply affect me.  I also excavated some pain I had been holding onto that created this dynamic and fueled its potency.


Committing to your healing and being willing to dig deep unearths hidden trauma.  I feel so much gratitude for this interaction that occurred last fall.  Currently, I feel more integrated and determined to communicate and maintain my boundaries. Otherwise, if I continue on these pathways of permitting others to infringe upon my personal limits, blockages and disruptions will continue mirror back to me what I need to face.


After I let go of her, I realized that I have manifested friendships over the past year that nourish my soul and bring me immense laughter and joy.  I concluded that embodiment of a deep self-love facilitates a beautiful love frequency stream to flow into your life once you courageously commit to your healing within.


Whatever is not serving you, gently release with love.  Toxicity clogs your energy and needs to be expelled from your life.  Once you have unhooked yourself, your flow will increase and more love will show up in many forms once you heal your wounds.




February 14th Is Another Day to Love Yourself


If you are triggered by not having the love you want or envy what others have on Valentine’s Day, then you are signaling to yourself that your self-love needs your attention. And, as soon as you devote yourself to self-love rather than looking outside of yourself for love, you will attract in loving relationships you desire.


Celebrate February 14th by celebrating all forms of love.

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